Abusive Relationships

Blunt Force Aggressions

A new form of white privilege holders’ aggression that can be added to the list of microaggression and macro-aggression related to social, class and racial bias related to the resulting ideologies institutional racism has created.

Event 2020 was a MuddaAss of a year. Racism, sexism, genderism were all laying on the floor being ignored by white privilege holders. In fact white privilege holders and deniers were telling marginalized community members demographic -isms had ended. Then in the boredom of the temporarily unemployed and the cabin fever of those privileged enough work from home, white privilege holders found their ways into the Boxes of blacks’, browns’, reds’, yellows’, indigenous’, lgbtq’s and women kicking up the dust of decades of -ISM Trauma with no door or window to escape or breathe ventilated air.

The suffocation of Event 2020 was more than a physical viral infection it was overwhelmingly a pandemic reminder that white privilege exists. One of the lowest points of 2020 was being on the receiving end of the phone getting news that a family member was shot, caged, lynched, hung, burned, poisoned, suffocated, beaten, detained, deported or denied access to medical care resulting in death. Second to that was the white lash that came after white privilege holders made mad attempts to prove they weren’t racist. Calling any person of color they had access to via phone or social media or email to tell them… “I SEE YOU NOW!”

Reinforcing the 6th sense gut feeling all People of Color have, the sense of being overlooked and ignored by white privilege holders. Kicking up dusty -ISMS and asking People of Color about their trauma made it blatantly obvious white privilege holders were aware of their inaction and detachment from social injustice. These interactions made for a new form of microaggression, a large blunt blow, “Blunt Force Aggression.” Blunt Force Aggressions unlike the death by a thousand cuts of microaggressions are bullheaded ill-thought blows to the gut that imprint on the psyche. Where a microaggression would make you raise an eyebrow and give time to allow it to roll off the shoulder, Blunt Force Aggressions ripple a steady lake forcing tsunami waves to crash on the shore of an muddy bank susceptible to erosion.

Blunt-Force-Aggressions keep resonating well after the blow has been struck; causing the spontaneous replay of adverse psychological episodes. These ripples caused People of Color to spontaneously breakdown crying, have nightmares, panic attacks, anxiety attacks and experience disconnection from reality and peers. These ripples serve as the reinforcement of white privilege holders’ oblivious disregard for People of Color.

“Jane, called to tell me she was sorry for all the years she ignored my complaints of discrimination and let me know she was here to support me. Jane ignored my attempts to ask for help, disregarding my text messages, didn’t return my phone calls and voicemails. I realized it must have looked like I was stalking her, that I was bombarding her, so I stopped out of respect. Jane text me 6 weeks later to let me know she was still there if I needed anything. I broke down crying like a little child. I felt so unsupported. Jane offered her ear whenever I needed it but only provided access when she wanted to and for as long as she could stand to – which wasn’t often or more than a few minutes. I know Jane is not a therapist, those are detached people you PAY to listen to you for an hour. Jane presented herself as an unconditional friend with very many conditions she did not disclose.”

Every random apology or cheers of support from Jane now feels like a Blunt Force Aggression. The handy work of a Gaslighter or an abusive relationship that lures you in making you feel loved, feel seen and feel trust only to knock you upside your head with the reality of neglect and constant abandonment. She is now attacking you personally, like a personal sleeper cell assigned to handle you. She is not sending bias remarks your way that you can choose to allow to roll off your shoulder. Rather, Jane is attacking your psyche by forcing you to help her NOT FEEL LIKE A RACIST because she said something kind to a Person of Color. All the while Jane has left her Person of Color alone, neglected, reaching the carrot she presented dangling on a stick as if they were a fucking pet.

Jane’s Blunt Force Aggression is constantly setting you up to feel supported while apologizing for being busy with her real job and white privilege.” You know the job you can’t hope to ever have because your hair is too kinky, you don’t meet the requirements, you have a lane to stay in, it’s assumed you’re just not cut out for it or you’re just not wanted and that is any institution’s prerogative to be selective with who they allow in their boardrooms.